Today has been all about the water, beginning with our regular swimming session.
It was nice because, when we started going regularly, I’d gotten talking to another Mum who was there with her son (about 6-weeks younger than Reindeer). I don’t find talking to strangers easy, so it was lovely surprise to find that I was managing to socialise like a proper grown up. We hadn’t seen Seb and his Mum for about 3-months so I assumed they’d stopped attending, but they were there today. We had a long catch up on how the boys were doing and how we were getting on. It was really good to find Reindeer was doing many of the same things as Seb since I’m never really sure if he should be doing particular things or not. It’s also nice to have someone to talk to because, although I find socialising really difficult, it doesn’t mean I want to be completely disconnected from others. Life can be a bit lonely in terms of adult conversation now I’m not working.
Anyway, this afternoon, after the weekly shop, we spent some time in the paddling pool. It was a beautiful day and Reindeer had a great time. I restricted our session to half an hour as the sun was very intense. He had sunscreen on but I don’t like to risk long periods of exposure whilst he’s so small.
For some reason, probably tiredness, Reindeer was quite cranky after getting out of the pool. He was alternately cuddling up and pushing the boundaries. I took away a wipe he kept trying to eat, resulting in lots of tears. Any time I tried to enforce a boundary was met with tears – unusual and upsetting for us both. After a bath he fell asleep quickly and I’m sat here trying to figure out what that was all about.
I suspect we’re moving into a new phase where we need to negotiate our limits. I don’t want to say ‘no’ all the time, but I do want to be consistent about boundaries. I don’t want to model snatching, but I don’t know what else to do if he’s grabbed something dangerous and won’t give it back/allow me to swap it for something else. Mostly I just worry that I’m making mistakes which will affect him/us for life. As I write that down it sounds very dramatic, but I really do worry about the long-term implications of all my actions. Time to start looking for strategies!