Just when you thought surviving your first year of parenting meant you’d seen it all, it turns out you’ve only made it from novice to amateur.
This afternoon Reindeer pulled his ‘filling my nappy’ face. Being used to this by now, I blithely took him off for a nappy change, expecting the whole thing to be sorted in two minutes. Oh, how wrong I was!
For this was a nappy fill the like of which I’ve never seen before and devoutly hope I’ll never have to deal with again. It was filled with the thickest, stickiest poo ever. I don’t think I’d realised a human could make something like this.
Naturally, within about 15 seconds and whilst I was scrambling to catch up with this development, Reindeer decided to move about. Despite my best efforts, he got onto his tummy and then his bottom on the changing mat. Everything (him, me, changing station, etc) was covered in poo. My frantic efforts to remove his t-shirt without too much contamination were successful but I was at a complete loss on how to deal with the poo. We’ve never had an incident like this before.
It was pretty obvious that cotton wool pads weren’t going to cut it, so I opted for putting him straight into the shower. This was undoubtedly the best option but I was still impressed at how much poo there was to remove.
Thankfully, Reindeer was cooperative and soon looking a lot better. He really does seem to love having showers. A fresh nappy and fresh clothing soon sorted him out, but the clean up of changing mat, station, cot sheet (how the heck did it get there?!) and my clothing took a fair bit longer.
My husband arrived home in the middle of all this (naturally, we were supposed to be ready to go visit family at this point) and was equally horrified. A morbid curiosity took over as we considered everything he’d consumed in the last two days; what on earth could cause this? Because you can be damn sure he won’t be eating it again once I figure out what it is! We haven’t narrowed it down, largely because neither of us were prepared to go any nearer than arms length in the process of double bagging the offending nappy. I’m blaming food, my husband is blaming the fact that Reindeer will lick, or otherwise attempt to consume, absolutely any object he comes into contact with.
Whatever the cause, I really, really don’t want to have another experience like that!