Things still aren’t sorted on the work front. What began as negotiations around reduced hours has moved on to me contemplating a three-year career break. This is an almost incomprehensible decision as, before I began maternity leave, I was in no doubt that I’d return to work full time!
This won’t be easy for us financially – my earnings are higher – but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m going to miss so much if I return to work. As an August baby I’ll automatically miss a lot of time with Reindeer as he’ll begin school having just turned four-years-old (just the thought of this makes me anxious), so I feel that it’s now or never.
I’ve canvassed opinions from family, friends and strangers, all of whom have been very helpful and none of whom have said what I’d expected them to.
The consensus seems to be that I should return to work whilst trying for another baby, then take the break after that maternity leave. Financially I can see why people suggest this. Of course, it assumes we’re trying for another baby, something we have chosen not to do. Maybe not forever, but certainly not for now. Also, fertility isn’t a given; we could try for years and not have another.
So I guess it comes down to this: do I hang on and take the financially sensible route or do I miss out on time with the child I have in the hope of a child which may never exist? I’m pretty sure I know where my heart is here.